the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
