Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
