Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(214): View more from Texas

we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.

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(646): View more from New York

I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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(901): View more from Tennessee

we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

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(660): View more from Missouri

He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.

(816): View more from Missouri

Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...

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(317): View more from Indiana

This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I’m calling dibs!

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!

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