Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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