hotel room ftw
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
