I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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