Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
