He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my shit smells like andre
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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