absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize