I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
