so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
