Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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(914): View more from New York

im gay

(203): View more from Connecticut

i know

(914): View more from New York

yea but for you.

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(703): View more from Virginia

nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

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(626): View more from California

Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.

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(770): View more from Georgia

We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges

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(434): View more from Virginia

I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"

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