And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
