I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
