ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
