I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
