He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need water and some morals
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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