I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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