Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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(813): View more from Florida

The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"

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(812): View more from Indiana

We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.

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(925): View more from California

I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

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(757): View more from Virginia

is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like

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(778): View more from British Columbia

My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.

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