If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
