Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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