Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
