my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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