I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
