I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize