More tranny stories later!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
