literally had 100 drinks last night.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
