I'm going to jail i love you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
