My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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