Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
