Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
