Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
