apparently the secret to your success is patron
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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