Screwed.edu
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
