he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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