just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All the doctor said was why
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
