Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
