This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
