I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize