You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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