note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
