Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
