yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
