i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Boobs speak an international language.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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