I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
