Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
