the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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