Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
