It's Friday. Sex?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
