A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
