try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
