you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
