Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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