Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
