Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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