so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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