You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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