Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
