All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
