If i come over, it means nothing
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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