Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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