So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no, he came in my armpit
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize